Dictionary 101

I'm starting to realize that the dictionary left out some very handy mom terms...

1. Booty Call: When you are paged over the loudspeaker when you are at an event (and your kid is in the nursery) to come change your kid's diaper.

ie. Yesterday at the gym, I got a booty call while I was taking a shower. Joey had done his, ahem, business and his business was large enough that his diaper didn't contain it. He was covered. His socks. His armpits.

2. Nudey Tunes: An incident that involves significant amounts of pee, poop or spit-up, enough to drench an outfit, leaving your child naked. Naturally, Nudey Tunes incidents only happen when mom is unprepared and failed to pack extra clothing and/or an extra diaper.

ie. Immediately after the aforementioned (see "Booty Call") indicent at the gym, I realized that we had a Nudey Tunes incident on our hands. I ended up carrying Joey out of the gym (in 40 degree weather) wearing nothing but a stolen gym towel. Don't worry... I fully intend to return the towel on my next visit. Really, I do.

3. Unhappy Hour: The hour between 4:30 and 5:30 pm when some people are happily carefree as they are about to get off work and head to a bar where they can indulge in dollar cocktails while us mommies sit at home with exhausted and starving kids and count the minutes until Daddy gets home.

ie. Yesterday, during unhappy hour, I literally called my husband twelve times to see when he was going to get home. While I was otherwise occupied staring at the clock counting the seconds going by, Joey found the energy to pull all of the books off of the shelf, dump two boxes of legos down the stairs and call a random long-distance number on the house phone. My friend Susan's son Joshua decided to go swimming in the toilet during unhappy hour one day. I'm sure Joey would do the same if he thought of it.

4. Boobifier: Using one's breasts as a pacifier.

ie. I admit it: I use a boobifier instead of a pacifier. The boob is just so handy. No tiny pouch to keep track of. Nothing to clean. No fancy dishwasher racks or chemical-free soaps. I never drop the boobifier on the ground or lose it. So, Kate falls asleep nightly with a boobifier in her mouth and a grin on her face.

5. Ma Ha! Moments: Those times where you realize "Ah Ha!", if I do this, my life will be way easier.

ie. Yesterday, I had a Ma Ha moment when I realized that if I always take the time to pack a change of clothes for my kids, I would avoid complicated incidents such as the aforementioned "Nudey Tunes" incident at the gym and the infamous "airplane incident" of '06.

6. Foy: A fake toy. A regular household item that suddenly becomes your childs object of affection du jour.

ie. The page that I tore out of my Parenting Magazine yesterday is Joey's new foy. He carries it around wherever he goes and cried when we wouldn't let him sleep with it last night.

7. Wuce: The watered-down juice left in the sippy cup when you've "refilled" (a.k.a. dilluted with water) you toddler's juice glass fifteen times in the last hour.

ie. For the first few glasses, Joey is fooled by his wuce, but eventually he catches on and realizes that he's just drinking water, which results in him screaming "Aaaaaapppppplllleeeee jjjjuuuuiiiicccceee Mommy!" over and over and over until I succumb and try to ply him with "Maple Juice" a.k.a. milk mixed with apple juice.

8. Lactivism: The strange, unexplainable passion that even the calmest, least-hippie mommies have about breastfeeding.

ie. How did I, the girl who wouldn't be caught dead marching downtown in a rally, end up being a la leche league card carrying, breastfeeding-in-public-without-regard-to-a-cover-up lactivist?

Two New Babies-- One Happy Day!

This is my beautiful new nephew Jude. He was born on Monday, Jan 21st weighing in at 7 lbs. 11 oz. He lives all the way up in Kentucky which doesn't make me very happy. I just can't wait to meet the little guy. I'm going up there in a week and a half but it just doesn't seem like it's soon enough. Auntie is coming, baby boy, Auntie is coming.

The exciting news is that Cameron's cousin Ari also had a gorgeous baby girl on Monday the 21st. Evangeline (Eva) Virginia weighed over 9 lbs. and is just gorgeous.

Eggplant Polenta Bake

Cam's cousin Ari's friend (wow---four degrees of separation there!) is hosting a recipe contest on her blog-- and as we all know, I lo-ove recipe contests. SO, I'm entering it.

I thought about coming up with a new recipe, but I decided that my tried-and-true favorite is just the thing. So, here's a repost of my Eggplant Polenta Bake-- full of nutrition, hearty and simple, and so good that your family (or husbands) won't even notice the veggies!

Eggplant Polenta Bake

-Brown 2 lbs. ground turkey or Italian sausage in a large skillet. Drain.
-Add 1 chopped eggplant (sounds daunting but it's not... just rinse and chop!) and 1 chopped zucchini. Cook for 7-8 minutes with the meat until tender.
-Wilt in an entire 10 oz. bag of baby spinach
-Wilt in a lg. handful of fresh basil.
-Pour 1 jar of crushed tomatoes (or crush 4-5 of your own tomatoes) over the veggies.
-Boil 3 cups of water on the stove. Slowly pour in 1 1/2 cups ground polenta (or coarse cornmeal). Whisk vigorously until the mixture thickens. Add 1 tsp. italian seasoning and 1/2 cup parmesan cheese.
- Spread the polenta mixture on the bottom of a 9 X 13 pan.
-Cover with vegetable mixture.
-Cover with grated mozzarella and parmesan (as much as you'd like!)
-Bake for 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees.

Happy Birthday Joey!

This is the second time I've gotten teary-eyed today. The first was when Joey decided to wake up at 5:30 this morning. I think the excitement of Christmas and presents and candy and cookies and music and lights got to him and he just couldn't sleep. As I sat blurry-eyed on the couch and tried to find something for him to watch (yes, I resorted to TV...), I imagined that most toddlers were finally going to get the chance to wind down today-- to embrace a day of calm after the craziness of Christmas. Not for us, though. Nope, today held more presents and toys and cupcakes. God sure had a sense of humor when he gave Joey a Christmas birthday. Tears were flowing, and really, can you blame me? (And if you can, I'd like to see you try to explain that presents aren't an every day thing to a two-year-old who has spent the last three days in a constant state of sugar-high).

I'm crying again right now because I just can't believe my baby boy is two. Words are inept to describe the bittersweet feeling of watching your beautiful tiny baby grow and flourish. I cry tears of joy when he wraps his arms around my neck and cries "Hold you, Mommy! Carry you!" (he has his prepositions mixed up right now... so it's "Hold you! Carry you! Hug you!" instead of "Hold me! Carry me! Hug me!"). Part of me wants to stop time, yet more of me is anxious to see what God has in store for my baby boy.

I never imagined that one child could bring so much joy while simultaneously causing so much frustration. I never imagined the delight I'd feel hearing my son express his thoughts, watching as his personality and gifts emerge. Joey, I thank God every day for you. I'm so thankful that you're so full of life and joy. I'm thankful that you have such an exuberant outlook-- that everything is a delight to you. I pray that you learn to channel your strengths-- to use the gifts that God gave you to change the world like I know you will. I pray that I have the patience to smile, even when you smash play dough into my carpet and color on my walls. One day I will treasure these moments... even if they happen at 5 am.

I love you so much. Happy birthday.

Terrible Twos? Ha!

Some very interesting tidbits that I've recently learned courtesy of Joey:

Did you know...

- That red crayon comes off of walls much easier than it comes off of carpet?

- That if you tear a hole in the lining of a diaper, you will have enough tiny, pee-soaked cotton balls to cover an entire bedroom floor?

- That if you take off your pajamas and fall asleep on your bedroom floor, you will wake up at 2 am freezing cold?

- That play dough turns to clumpy slime when it's wet?

- That even the most patient preschool teachers who love spending time with other people's two-year-olds have a breaking point. Oh, and if your kid's teachers look at each other and sigh when you ask how your kid is doing, you should probably be worried.

- That "Suckerfish" is a fun word to call your sister when she's nursing?

- That even if a professional photographer takes 500 pictures of your two-year-old, more likely than not, one or two will turn out. If that.

Ahhhh... Life as a parent. Gotta love it.

Halloween by the numbers (take 2)

1-- Number of minutes that it took for Kate to start screaming after I put her costume on. For some reason, she didn't think it was comfortable to have foam balls glued to her back. Imagine that.

2-- The number of years that Joey has worn his elephant costume. I know, I know... I'm a slacker. He just looked so cute in it last year and when I discovered that it still fit, I figured that it was worth wearing twice. Plus, I figure that the 40 hours of work I put into it last year warrents using it twice (or possibly three times... look for Kate the elephant next year).

3-- The number of M & Ms that I let Joey eat last night. I know. I'm such a mean mommy.

4--The number of times that Joey woke up in the middle of the night screaming "More El-phant! More Candy!". Imagine what would've happened if I had let him eat four or five M & Ms.

5-- The number of times I burned myself on the hot glue gun while trying to make Kate's costume. My mom's sewing machine is in storage so I had to get a bit creative with my costume assembling methods.

6-- The number of "chaperones" that Joey and Kate had when we went to the Fall Festival at church. Mom, Dad, Peter & Alisa all tagged along to take pictures.

7-- The number of times that Joey has asked for "Auntie. Choo-Choo. More. Please?" today (his Auntie Alisa took him on the choo-choo last night). I told him next year. He told me NOW. Please.

8--The number of miniature Almond Joys that I ate out of the candy bowl throughout the day. Before you chastize my lack of self-control, might I remind you that I'm a nursing mother.

9-- The number of pictures that I took of Kate hanging out on her Daddy's arm. A bit overboard I admit, but she looked so darn cute perched up there.

10--The number of minutes it took me to fanegal Kate into her costume. No, it wasn't the most practical costume but it sure was adorable.

Two is much better than one

Everyone warned me that being a mom to two is much harder than being a mom to one. Perhaps. But for me, being a mom to two is ten billion times easier than being a mom to one while pregnant. I'm amazed. Sure, Kate is still sleepy from the hospital and Cameron was home for a week, but I've been on my own for a few days now and I'm loving it. There have been moments, but overall, things have gone really smoothly.

It feels so great not to be pregnant anymore... seriously. Yesterday, I drank two cups of coffee for breakfast and didn't eat anything else until dinner. Was I hungry? Of course. Why did I do it? Because I could. For months, I couldn't go more than a few hours without eating or I'd get sick... but now, I can go hours (heck, days) without eating and feel just fine. Plus, I haven't thrown up in two weeks (a record amount of time). It feels great.