Tales of a twenty-eight-year-old drama queen

Tales of a 28-year-old drama queen

Status check:
8 weeks, 5 days pregnant
Weight: 142 lbs.

I’m not typically a huge wimp when it comes to needles. Sure, I don’t like them, but I can handle the occasional prick without hyperventilating or crying. That’s why I wasn’t even overly nervous when I found out that I was getting a subcutaneous pump installed to slowly dispense medication into my system throughout the day. Sure, I freaked out a little about the idea of a needle going into my inner thigh or stomach, but I wasn’t hysterical.
The hysterics started when the nurse informed me that I would have to install the pump myself. Basically, the pump runs into a vein through a tiny tube which is easily disrupted and yanked out. That said, since I am on home care and able to stay home right now, I need to know how to insert my own pump should I need to insert it myself. A nurse can’t come running to my house at all hours of the day or night to re-insert my pump. The thought of giving myself a shot really sent me over the edge. As you can imagine *hysterical* breathing and desperate whining commenced. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

I really lost it when the nurse explained that the process involved holding a needle six inches above my leg (my chosen spot of entry) and jamming it in with force to make sure it completely penetrates the skin. That’s right. Six inches above my leg. Slamming it down with force. Slamming a needle into my own leg with force. You’d be hysterical, too, right? Please tell me I’m not the only drama queen around.

Well, after all is said and done, the process wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The nurse “helped” me insert the needle by slamming my hands down for me, and it honestly didn’t hurt much. The IV that the nurse inserted hurt much worse. Needless to say, I’m being extremely careful not to yank my pump out and so far, I haven’t had any mishaps. I will have to change out the tubing tomorrow because it shouldn’t be in the same spot for more than 72 hours, but until then, I have a temporary reprieve from stabbing myself.

Could you do it?