Caffiene addiction...er, attraction

June 16th, 2006

I was not one of those mothers who gave up caffeine cold turkey when I got pregnant. I wanted to. The day after I found out that I was pregnant, I made a valiant attempt and made it all the way until 10:00 before driving to Seattle’s Best for a Café Au Lait. I even tried to trick my body into thinking that decaf would suffice and that burst of charged energy that comes with every cup was just psychological. I really wanted to believe that.

Instead, I became the pregnant woman who couldn’t make it through her morning routine without at least one (or at the most two) caffeinated cups. To ease my conscience, my doctor told me that recent research has shown that caffeine was only detrimental to my baby’s health in large doses, so I did what any mother would do, I asked my doctor what exactly a “large dose” was. He explained that research had shown that woman who drank five or more cups of coffee a day had increased risks of miscarriage, low birth weight and other problems. I had found my loophole. I made it my goal to stay under two cups a day throughout my pregnancy and breastfeeding. Once the little guy is weaned, I’m sure that I will once again be seen in the Starbuck’s line ordering my third Venti Latte of the day.

This morning, after consuming my typical two cups of morning coffee sans breakfast, I trudged up the stairs, allowing that now-familiar sense of guilt over my caffeine addiction to overtake me. As I logged into my computer, my mind raced (fairly quickly albeit) about how I probably should cut back on the caffeine, limit myself to one cup of coffee per day, and while I'm at it I should probably stop eating French fries and Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia every night, too. Much to my surprise, there was an article on MSN about the health effects of caffeine. I didn't want to open it. It was a don't know-don't care situation, but something deep inside me, perhaps that tiny part of me that still clung to the fact that caffeine is my friend and couldn't be harmful if I like it this much, forced my hand to move the mouse, to open the article.

As I read through the first few paragraphs, my hands shook with excitement. No increased cancer risk. Check. No increased heart attack risk. Check. Extra energy (nervous, anxious and twitchy energy is still energy, you know). Check. Increased mental stimulation (does that mean it makes me smarter? Hmmm... I think I've been feeling those effects recently). Check. I immediately loaded Joey into the car and headed for Starbucks to buy a venti-triple-shot-double-caffiene-black-eye. I drank it guiltlessly. Coffee is healthy. MSN says so. MSN never lies.