Crazy is as crazy does

Crazy is as crazy does, right? Here’s what I have on tap for this coming week. I’ll let you be the judge on my mental state.

A solo flight: Yes, I’m planning on flying to Oregon without my husband. Now, flying alone isn’t a big deal, but throw a six-month-old baby and an eight-week-old puppy into the equation and that’s a whole different story. Not only will I be lugging diaper bags and jogging strollers and suitcases and car seats into the airport, but I’ll also be hauling a not-so-tiny Golden Retriever puppy named J.J. to his new home. My poor traveling companions! Note: If you happen to be flying from Austin to Portland this week, you might want to change your flight plans or risk being stuck on the airplane with me.

The Oregon Finnish Festival: Oh, the Finn Fest: the highlight of my grandmother’s year. My grandmother is a Finnish immigrant who has lived in Oregon for over fifty years but still heartily clings to her Finnish roots. She speaks Finnish, cooks Finnish food, visits Finland and most importantly, religiously attends the annual Oregon Finnish Festival. So, I’ll be spending a hot afternoon eating Piparkakuts and looking at Finnish crystal and most importantly, smiling and nodding as my grandmother proudly introduces me to every person that she even remotely knows.

My ten-year high school reunion: While some of my friends are hemming and hawing about going, complaining that high school was the worst four years of their lives and not wanting to relive that, I secretly want to go. Sure, high school was a long time ago and I’m a completely different person now, but I still want to go check things out. I want to do some serious people watching, to see who married who and who’s doing what. Call me Curious George, but I can’t wait to see who’s wearing what and who is still working at Dandy’s Drive-in ten years after graduation.

A stay at my in-laws house sans my husband: I adore my in-laws, really. They’ve treated me as part of the family for ten years now and really go out of their way to make me feel welcome and a part of things. My mother-in-law desperately wants to see little Joey so I’m going to go spend a few days at their house, located at least five miles down a dirt road and at least thirty miles from the nearest town of any size. I’m a city girl. I like shops and restaurants and streetlights and pavement. I like internet connections and coffee shops and heels and white pants. I like air conditioning in the middle of the summer for gosh sake! I’ll survive, but not without complaining a little.

A complete loss of my hard-earned full-night’s sleep: Yes, Joey and I are going to be traveling for two weeks, sleeping in various houses and hauling the good old Pack ‘n’ Play around in the trunk of our rental car. Without a doubt, Joey will forget all about his all-night sleeping habits and decide that he wants a midnight snack or two. I’m sure it will take me weeks to retrain him to sleep through the night. I’m sure I’ll be dealing with a cranky baby and an even crankier mommy for the entire two weeks. I’m sure that at one point I thought this was a good idea, but now I’m not so sure.

Letting my husband fend for himself for two weeks: I honestly believe that without my nutritional help, my husband would’ve succumbed to some bacon-and-egg related health problem five years ago. With a little complaining, he’ll eat fruit and even vegetables if I put them on his plate, but on his own, produce won’t touch his lips. Instead, he’ll live off of fast food burgers and tacos and take-n-bake pizza for two weeks. In a vain effort to try to get him to eat something healthy while I’m away, I took him to Costco this afternoon and let him roam the frozen section hoping that frozen veggie burritos or teriyaki rice bowls would catch his eye but no such luck. The only thing that sounded good to him were the frozen burger patties which I refused to buy because I don’t want twenty-four high-fat burger patties wasting space in my freezer. By the time I get back, I’ll have a garbage can full of Egg McMuffin wrappers and some serious motivation to hide extra vegetables in the marinara sauce for the next six months.