Childhood friends

September 15, 2006

While adult friends and college friends and mommy friends are fabulous, there is something about a childhood friend that is just irreplaceable. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my girlfriends. My college friend Hildi and I spend hours shopping for what-nots and gab non-stop about everything from cooking and cleaning to dating and blogging. My friends Jessi and Jenn each have two adorable girls and my entire day is brightened when I get emailed pictures or updates from them. My girlfriends from my small group at church are caring, kind and compassionate, always willing to step in and lend a hand. When I was pregnant and sick, these girls brought me meals, sent me cards, visited me in the hospital and continually supplied juicy novels to distract me from my morning sickness misery. My girlfriends have been a constant source of advice and support, friends who I can laugh with, share with and depend on to be there for me no matter what. That’s so important because in a world full of ups and downs, there is real comfort in always having a close friend to lean on.

A childhood friend goes a bit beyond that. A childhood friend knows everything about your past and is an important part of your history. Armed with that understanding, a childhood friend can understand where you’re coming from in a way that no one else (other than perhaps your siblings) can. For me, my best friend growing up was a girl named Katie. We met when we were five and became fast friends. We lived a few blocks away from each other and spent our childhood years biking to and from each other’s houses, having slumber parties and playing with our dogs. Later, in high school, we shared each other’s every up and down, holding each other up through joyful and tough times, through eating disorders and bad breakups, through first jobs and college applications. Now, we’ve been close friends for more than twenty-three years and still email each other every day.
The thing about Katie is that she understands things about me that nobody else does. She spent the night at my house nearly every weekend growing up so she knows my family, my eating habits, my quirks and that I get really cranky if I stay up too late. She understands why the 1989 Tiffany concert is and always will be the best concert that I’ve ever been to. She’s seen me wearing crimped hair and pegged jeans and even wearing rag curls and neon-pink tank tops. She remembers my childhood dog and knows why I still miss him. She knows what I did at my senior prom and even knows the guy you went with. She knows my brother and my sister and knows that we used to fight like cats and dogs but are now best friends. She knows why I’m scared of caves and spiders. She was the first person I called after I got my first kiss and the first person I turned to when I had my first break-up. She knows that I will always ask for extra whipped cream on my cappuccino blast, even if I’m trying to lose weight. She knows things about me that nobody else does and I love having a friend who I can talk to without explaining anything. She already knows.

Katie and I now live on opposite sides of the country. While we’re physically far apart, our friendship is closer than ever. Last fall, we found out that we were pregnant at the same time and commiserated together about the ups and downs of pregnancy. We planned our nurseries together and talked about our fears of labor and delivery. We talked about baby names and bassinets and breast pumps and sleeping problems. A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to visit her and meet her beautiful son, Miles. Holding Miles, I had tears in my eyes as I realized how thankful I was to share the wonderful experience of motherhood with the woman who I’ve shared everything else with for the last twenty three years. I just pray that Joey is able to find a childhood friend like I had. Someone who will know everything about him, about his hopes, dreams, fears and faults and love him just the same.