Pregnant...

January 19th, 2007

So much for my vow to be patient. I can’t stand it. My period is officially late now and I’m hemming and hawing about taking another test. Sure, I’ve already wasted three tests this week. Sure, if I wait a few more days, then I’ll know for sure. Sure, I promised just yesterday that I’d wait at least two days before testing again. But, I just can’t stand it. I’m taking a test. Results pending…. Be back in five.

It took a few minutes but a faint blue plus sign appeared in the window. Now I’m freaking out. Yesterday, I was freaking out because I’d taken three negative pregnancy tests. Today, I’m freaking out because I took one positive one. Part of me is ecstatic. I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby. The other part of me scared. I’m scared to death that I’m going to be sick again. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to take care of Joey while pregnant and nauseous and sick. I’m scared that something is going to happen to this tiny life. I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to manage two babies. The roller coaster has started moving and there’s no getting out now. So, I guess all I can do is buckle up, smile and enjoy the ride.